were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
