I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
