Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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