They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
