If i come over, it means nothing
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
we're so committed to being not committed
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
