I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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