somebody snuck up and got me drunk
my sisters under your porch take her home
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize