I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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