She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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