I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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