Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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