I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
