Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
