A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
