yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
