I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
