hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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