is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
