we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Randomize
