I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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