I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
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