Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
