I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
