i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
