She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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