just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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