"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize