rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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