You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
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