We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
