that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
