I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
