My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
