Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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