Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
