I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
