Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
PANTIES FOUND
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