I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
