I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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