Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
40s are totally the cure
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize