it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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