i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
