is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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