my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
