does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
