Only a mothe r could love this liver
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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