You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
