Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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