you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
