I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
