I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
