i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize