im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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