Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
All the doctor said was why
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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