She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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