He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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