I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Randomize
