I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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