She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize