I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My life is pants optional.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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