I wanna bring you to show and tell
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
