some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
