Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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