My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
