so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
